"I must have that!" he thought to himself and he went inside....

====

And he bought that which he had that mysterious dream about the night before: the watch with four buttons. It was so intriguing, this watch (and only $3.95 plus tax), with its pretty led display and neon red watch band which somehow fit over his wrist even though he didn't have a wrist.

What was most intriguing about the watch, however, was the buttons. There was one to flash the date, one to set the time, and one to make it light up in the dark. But the fourth button wasn't marked, and didn't seem to do anything as far he could tell, at least by itself. But the swan (whose name was Irving) new at that very moment (or at least at the moment fairly nearby that one) that that's why he had that dream last night....

====

Irving knew that now, now that he had The Watch, he must go on a quest to find the source of the Power of the Fourth Button. He decided to start his quest at Mr. Sam Snade's druggis and donut shoppe.

He walked out the door and down the streets of his quiet town. In fact, as Irving looked around himself, he realized that it was Too Quiet (tm). There was no one in this town at all! Where were all the people?

Irving slowed from an amble to a crawl as he became more and more frightened. Then he started to get gravel stuck in his wings, so he stood up again, but he still couldn't understand what was going on. He walked about the empty streets, perpledly looking for a clue.

After a while, he decided to continue his quest, he was certain that in the way of the quest lay all the answers, so he proceeded to Mr. Snade's Druggist Shop...

=======

He was fairly certain there would be someone there, because even in the interactive fiction games where you wandered through entirely abandoned towns for no apparent reason, there was _always_ someone in the shop. ((sorry, I've had Infocom on my mind))

And indeed, his hunch was right -- and better than in the interactive fiction games, there were actually three people in there. Mr. Snade, of course, wiping the counter; Sir Lawrence Olivier, complaining about a dot infestation in his corner of the universe; and Sir Lawrence's companion, a young striped yellow-and-black kitten named Isabelle.

Irving couldn't decide -- should he talk to someone about his Quest, or just order a Chocolate Egg Cream from Mr. Snade?

====

He sidled up to the counter and ordered a Chocolate Egg Cream with a beak-style straw from Mr. Snade. As he rested his wing on the counter, Lawrence Olivier came over to him.

"Nice watch," he said.

"Thank you," said Irving and sipped on his Egg Cream, "I just got it. It has a mysterious fourth button."

"Ah!" said Olivier, "A fourth button! You must be on a quest, then." "Why, yes. Yes I am," Irving started in surprise at the depth of Mr. Olivier's knowledge.

"Well," Olivier said, "you'll need this, then." He handed young Irving a package of some kind, and walked back to his side of the counter. Isabelle chose this moment to aproach Irving, stepping daintily amongst the salt and pepper shakers and the bottles of ketchup at intervals along the counter, came up to irving, and dropped a dead mouse at his feet then, too retreated back along the counter to sit, demurely again by Mr. Olivier.

"Wow" said Irving to himself, I'd better take stock of what I have.
   >I
   Inventory
   You have:
   A watch with mysterious fourth button (on wrist)
   A half-finished chocolate egg-cream
   A package of some kind
   A dead mouse

"Hm..." Irving mused, "that's not much...what else will I need?"

====

Irving Looked around the room again, and pondered taking the salt and pepper shakers and ketchup, knowing they would probably be vital, but then realized he couldn't carry all that stuff. He sighed, and decided to open the package Sir Lawrence Olivier gave him. Inside, under loads of newspaper was...

A Thing Which Sir Lawrence Olivier Gave Irving Which He Doesn't Know What It Is! (last reference I promise. Maybe)

Irving quacked with joy and put all of his items (except the watch and the egg cream) into the Thing, which was kind of Thing Colored and Thing Shaped. Irving did not realize however, that when he put the salt and pepper shakers in, he also confiscated young Isabelle.

Irving did realize, though, that there was a message underneath the Thing in Olivier's package. He opened it and the message said: Go to tea with the Queen.

When Irving read this, he was a bit upset, because he was afraid that his egg cream might spoil his tea. But then, it was several hours before tea time. Irving looked up to ask Sir Lawrence Olivier about where the Queen was holding tea, but Olivier was nowhere to be found!

Irving asked Mr. Sam Snade instead, and Mr. Snade replied, "That bitch? She hasn't let me have tea with her since the marmalade incident." And Mr. Sam Snade could not be persuaded to say anything else.

Irving looked at his new watch and noted that he should get going if he wished to find the Queen and her tea table.

"Goodbye, Mr. Sam Snade!" Irving called.

"Mew?" said the Thing Which Sir Lawrence Olivier Gave Irving Which He Doesn't Know What It Is.

=====

As Irving rushed out into the cover of the late morning, he noticed that no people had shown up in the empty town while he was having his egg cream. He also noticed that he couldn't go everywhere in the town. Only on certain streets. He didn't know why he couldn't go into other buildings or down side streets, he just got the overwhelming impression, when he tried to, that those avenues of exploration weren't important, that there was nothing down any of them.

He wondered where he could find the queen...he thought about it and realized that he'd never heard of a queen in town before, and so he decided to go out of town.

"It's crazy" thought Irving, "but it just might work."

He headed down the main drag of town and towards the forest at it's edge.

=======

On his way out, Irving saw a small mailbox, and he remembered something Very Important before he continued his Quest. He pulled out a brightly colored birthday card from under his wing and mailed it to Ericka, because he knew Rep was too much of a goober to actually remember to physically buy one and send it to her on time. The mailbox flapped its lid in thanks.

That done, he continued on his merry way out of the town (which happened to be North). He looked around trying to find anything that might indicate where he might find a tea parlor and a Queen. He noticed a hill to the northeast, and thought that might be a good start. "Mew." The Thing agreed.

Irving trotted up the hill and reached the top. It was a very nice high hill with lovely grass on it blowing in the wind. There was also a small perpiler tree which was just beginning to bloom, and perpiler perfume wafted on the wind.

Irving looked down into the valley, and he saw the turrets of a high, gleaming white castle to the east, a river to the west, and a royal carriage rushing up a road toward a small white house to the north. And to the northwest, Irving could just barely make out the borders of a fancy topiary garden.

Irving smacked his forehead with his wing. "Of course! The topiary garden! That's where the Queen would be!"

Irving carefully hung the Thing around his neck, spread his wings, and flew off to the northeast. He was so intent on reaching the topiary garden, he did not notice the shadow looming over him...